Time again for the global follies. Let's see what weirdness went on this last week, shall we?
If you recall, a while back I talked about the German tourists caught hiking in the Alps in the nude. Well the citizens of the canton of Appenzell Inner Rhodes, by a show of hands, voted to ban nude hiking. During their annual open-air assembly they passed the legislation that will impose a $176 fine on any erstwhile hikers found enjoying the natural wonders of their lovely canton sans clothing. I guess they saw one too many German tourists in all their glory.
In other not quite related nudity news, the University of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee team has been suspended for playing in the nude at a game with Oregon State. Already on probation for hosting a party where underage students had access to alcohol, the student club sports committee ended the nationally ranked team's season. I'm not sure I get the appeal of outdoor sports in the buff. Seems like so many things could go wrong.
This week has a plethora of stupid criminals. We start in Arkansas, where 4 men tried to steal a truck that wouldn't run . Three pushed and one steered. Problem was this truck was a Jefferson County vehicle complete with county seal on the side. Good news is the crooks were close to the county jail when they were spotted. Yet somehow two managed to elude capture. It's either balls of steel for trying to swipe the truck or sheer stupidity. I'm going with stupid.
Next is a 40-year-old Minnesota man who led police on a 57 mile chase . In a stolen garbage truck. After firing a shotgun into the engine and laying stop-sticks resulting in flat tires, neither of which worked, police finally captured the man when pulled over and tried to run into the woods. A police dog caught him.. After being treated for dog bites, the man, who was drunk, ended up in jail. I don't know about you but I would have to be pretty damn drunk to steal a garbage truck and try to make it home.
Our last criminal is Clifton Ingram who is disputing felony charges for possession of illegal drugs. His defense? Mushrooms and marijuana are gifts from God and as such its not an arrest-able offense to use them. He might have gotten more sympathy from the judge if he hadn't shown up stoned.
The craziness must come in threes because I have three animal stories. First is the story of a Michigan teacher attacked by a squirrel. Said squirrel was not happy that the teacher was close to her babies, even though she was trying to save them from a crow. That reminds me of the funniest piece of literature ever written: Joe R Lansdale's Bad Chili . You should really click on that link and then click on the picture of book to read the excerpt. As long as strong language doesn't bother you. It's not for children.
The next story comes out of South Korea where researchers have cloned some beagle puppies . But these aren't just any cloned beagles. No they've had a little extra thrown in their DNA. They glow red under ultraviolet light. Seriously.
Our last animal story is of Tinker Bell the Chihuahua. As some of might remember, I am not a fan of Chihuahuas but this story is pretty amazing. Seems that Tinker Bell tried to visit Oz . She was swept up by high winds during a storm and carried six miles into the woods. Her owners credit a psychic for her recovery. I am not not making this up. Dog got carried away by high winds. Dog got found by a pet psychic.
That's it for this week. Tune in next Wednesday for another exciting installment. Hopefully, I won't have to mention Governor "We can take our toys away and leave" Perry then. Do you hear me, Ricky boy? Stay out of the news. You're making us look stupid.
What can I say? He's an Aggie .