Never fear, I am up to this task. I've found some new resources. Always looking for new places to check out the weirdness. Let's get on with it, shall we?
We start with a story worth a chuckle from Bangkok, Thailand. A political candidate there allegedly handed out Viagra for Votes. This is wrong yet still absurdly funny. Seems the Thai take this kind of thing fairly seriously and don't allow the free distribution of even soda to potential voters. This could land the candidate in some serious trouble. And does anyone else cringe when they watch the Viagra and co. ads about "erections lasting longer than 4 hours..." Oh.My.God. Would anybody really wait that long to decide something was wrong with Junior?
In India, we find an elephant bandit. Apparently this older male likes to block traffic, force people to roll down their windows and evacuate the vehicle leaving him free to rifle through their belongings looking for edibles. If they refuse, he pushes the car and blocks its path until the driver gives in. Smart Elephant.
Over to the UK where we find one English lad's artistic decoration of his roof has landed him in a spot of trouble. Seems he painted a picture of a 60 foot penis on his roof after watching a documentary on Google Earth. Only no one noticed for over a year until a passing helicopter pilot saw it, snapped a few photos and sold them to the Sun. The Sun then contacted the homeowner who was completely unaware what was above his head. His 18-year-old son admitted to the prank and is, fortunately for him, out of the country and physically unavailable for punishment.
Remember Walt Disney and the nifty trivia that has him cryogenically frozen under the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction in Disneyland? He's not but there are those in the UK thinking about taking the, er, plunge and they're going to do it for the low, low price of 10 quid a month. No, really. There's an company out there that will set you up with a life insurance policy for 10 pounds a month that pays out to the Cryonics Institute, an American company that freezes bodies. Cryogenics on the installment plan. Seriously?
Brazilian pigeons used to smuggle...wait for it...cell phone parts to prisoners ! Some enterprising inmates raised the pigeons, sent them to associates outside who attached a bag with the parts to the pigeon and sent it home. I suppose that an entire cell phone was too large for the pigeon but not a charger. Does this remind anyone else of a Monty Python skit?
Closer to home, we have a 28-year-old Ohio man charged with drunk driving on a barstool . And this is even funnier than you think.
Last but not least we have one of my favorite shows, Mythbusters, in the news. For those not in the know, the slightly crazed hosts of Mythbusters like to blow things up. Seems this one got away from them. While trying to knock the socks of their much abused mannequin "Buster" with a little ammonium nitrate they may have miscalculated the resulting blast. They blew out windows in the town of Esparto, CA about a mile away from the blast site. The news report claims this is there biggest blast to date. Which, if true, is pretty damn impressive since the last largest blast completely destroyed a cement truck.
But I must end this episode of News of the Weird by adding a personal note. We just escorted a sick bat from the premises. We are unsure when our visitor arrived but he was noticed by the puppy on the kitchen ceiling. Living in this part of Texas we are home to the 2 largest urban bat colonies in North America, one in Austin and one in Round Rock. This one found his way in and didn't want to leave. So, Hubby, being the brave one, got out his new trusty million candlepower flashlight and tried to, I don't know, scare it out. Didn't work. After a reminder that the leaf blower didn't help with the rat/refrigerator fiasco he wisely chose another course. Armed with a blanket, he tried to encourage it to leave. No dice. Next came the broom. Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Nada. The funniest part of this entire fiasco was Youngest and myself watching from the living room, blanket at the ready, offering our moral support and snarky comments. When he finally was forced to knock it off since it wouldn't even cling to the broom, we squealed like the girls we are and ducked under the blanket. The poor bat made no effort to move or resist and we scooped it up into a bucket and Hubby put it outside. I suggested he put in the neighbor's yard but he preferred to drop it over the crappy cheap ass lovely faux stone privacy fence the city so helpfully erected a few years ago near the sewer grate. Guess we'll be calling animal control in the morning.