Okay, so I'm late. I'm sorry. It was a really busy day. I finally have this week's news of the weird ready for your perusal.
We start in Texas where researchers at Sea Turtle, Inc have created a suit to help a one-legged sea turtle swim straight. The neoprene suit holds a carbon fiber fin in place that helps Alison, that's the turtle, swim in something other than tight circles. South Padre Island is generally known for the drunken debauchery that takes place every Spring Break. Glad to see they're getting some positive press. Plus, it's just damn cool.
Next we move to Fort Smith, Arkansas where a man drove his pick-up through the airport fence in an attempt to reach an airplane. Problem was the plane had no propellers. And he was kinda crazy. Aside from the general level of craziness required to drive your truck through an airport fence, this fellow thought he, and I quote, "needed to get to Israel and that he had all the answers". Whatever. He's in jail now. No going to Israel.
Further north in Pennsylvania, a gentleman accused of stealing gas from a convenience store asked a judge to throw him in jail. 6 times he stole gas from this store . 6 times. Dude, after, I don't know, the first couple of times you'd think the convenience store workers would get a little creative. Like refusing to turn the pump on when he comes in. Any way, the judge said no. He told Jerome Banks to borrow money if he had to, but he was going to repay the $214. No fair hiding in jail.
This one is so crazy it must be true. Seems that producers of a new NBC reality show want Gov. Blogojevich on their new show. First of all, the asshat is under indictment. That generally means he can't leave the jurisdiction and certainly not the country. Since the show will be filmed in Costa Rica that kinda makes this a no brainer. Second, why the hell do we need another damn reality show? Why?
Moving on. Remember when I told you that Stephen Colbert fans hijacked the NASA contest to name the next module of the International Space Station? Well, NASA has thrown them a bone , of sorts. They're naming a treadmill after him. In its entirety the item in question is called the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, or COLBERT. *Sigh* NASA, the bunch of weenies, isn't even going to use the second place name, Serenity. Nope. They're using the eighth most popular name, Tranquility. Jerks. In other words, they had that name picked out already and held a contest just for shits and grins and had no intention of ever honoring said contest, geeks and comedy fans be damned! Bunch of fucking weenies!
Well, that just ticks me off. I don't know if you could tell. So, let's move on. We started in Texas and we'll end there as well. Seems that a gentleman living in Universal City, a San Antonio suburb, has a real hate on for the local elementary school. He's filed a noise complaint against the school after their family Field Day on March 20th. He's quoted as saying that ambulances, police, fire and the Air Force training jets weren't too loud but the school was. They've already built a fence, removed loud speakers and installed noise-reducing backing on basketball goals in response to previous complaints. Hopefully, this idiot will be told that he's a nuisance and here's some ear plugs, live with it.
And what would today's Weird Wednesday be without a mention of the national weirdness currently that is the Tea Party follies? What can I say? I think the best part of the day came when the folks in Washington DC learned that they would be unable to dump their million tea bags in Lafayette Park because they did not have the proper permits . Followed closely by this jewel from CNN's Anderson Cooper:
And while I could comment on Rick Perry and his idiotic statements of late, I will not. Let it suffice to say that I never voted for the man and the hatefulness that I have seen spewed by people claiming to be liberals and progressives in regards to Texas on various blogs and websites doesn't inspire me to discuss it. Not all Texans are ass hats. Please, please remember that the next time you feel the need to paint us all with the same red brush.