I found some new resources this week and hope they meet with your approval.
We begin with more naked Germans. I don't get it. Hiking through the Alps nude. In February. Yikes! Police in the canton of Appenzell-Innerrhoden are tired of the naked hikers and plan on issuing fines payable on the spot for 200 Swiss Francs or about $170. Hopefully these guys are keeping their wallets handy.
Now I love my puppies. I've written about them more than once. But even I wouldn't go as far as this lady. She locked herself, 20 dogs and 2 puppies in her car when a constable tried to sieze the dogs. The ammonia levels were 23 parts per million after the dogs and owner were removed. The owner has been turned over to Adult Protective Services and no charges have been filed.
Last week we had two New Zealanders try to play ring around the rosy with a telephone pole. This week, a 16-year-old Michigan prisoner left custody after appearing for a probation violation. Unfortunately, he decided to hide in a car in the courthouse garage. A judge's car. Oops.
A 27-year-old Sheboygan woman was arrested after leaving her two children in her car while she has a tanning session. It was 12 degrees outside with a wind chill factor of minus 2. Apparently she thought making sure her tan was perfect for her upcoming vacation was more important than the safety of her kids. Passersby called police. They found the parents arguing about why the kids had been left in the car. Apparently since the 10-year-old and 23-month-old suffered no lasting ill effects after their 20 minute stay in the cold, all they'll be charging her with is misdemeanor child neglect. I say she should forfeit her tickets, her reservations, her custody rights and her uterus. No more babies for this idiot. Some people just simply should not be allowed to procreate.
This one makes me giggle. A teenage robbery suspect was caught after his "fashionable" pants puddled around his knees when he tried to run. You know the ones. Pants worn so low they're barely hanging on to what is generally a pathetic excuse for an ass, boxers showing and a belt snugged so tight that the gonads must be shrieking every time they bend over or sit down. How is this attractive? I ask you? Does anyone find this sexy or hot or whatever lame adjective is in the current vernacular? My daughters once had a middle school principal who, when this fashion was new, liked it about as much as I did. He would gather the ridiculously loose pants, drag them back up where they belonged and use a plastic cable tie between two belt loops to secure the mess. Beautiful!
That's it for this week. If you find something you think worthy of the news blotter, shoot me an email. I need all the help I can get.