Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness

It's Wednesday so it must be time again for the weekly follies. Not much going on this week. Seems like the real weirdness is all in the mainstream, what with AIG giving bonuses to the division that destroyed their company and Michelle Bachmann ranting like a lunatic about how the President is ruining the country. And lets not forget the Pope and his "condoms contribute to the spread of AIDS" bullshit. Man, I bet the Vatican is regretting installing this weasel as Supreme High Commander. He's like George W. Bush for Catholics. The whole world thinks he's an idiot except for the fervent minority who believes in the Pope's infallibility. Sheesh. To bad they can't impeach him.

Anyway, let us move on to the lighter side of the news. We need it. We'll start with my personal favorite, a Lakeland, FL 8th grader was suspended from the bus for passing gas. The bus driver claims Jonathan Locke, Jr was passing gas to make other students laugh and caused a stench so horrific that it made it difficult to breathe. So he gave him a 3 day suspension. Locke, of course, says it was another student. In all, it could have been worse. A 13-year-old Stuart student was arrested in November for "passing wind" in his class. Uh, people, I don't think a fart, no matter how stinky, is a criminal offense. Offensive, maybe. Crminial, no. Get a grip.

A Denver restuarant manager arrived at work to discover legs dangling from a vent. Seems a man got stuck in the vent above the oven. The police were called, the man rescued and then promptly arrested on suspicion of burglary. What a way to start your morning.

Here's another driving and marijuana story. A 63-year-old San Diego man suspected of driving while intoxicated crashed into a neighbors house revealing their pot farm. Authorities got a warrant and removed 20 pot plants from the house. The owners will get a rather nasty surprise when they get back from vacation. Not only do they have a lovely hole in the house, but I suspect they'll be visited by the police.

I know there are times when every woman just wants her man to listen but this lady took it a bit too far. Helen Sun handcuffed herself to her husband, Robert Drawbough, while he slept. Drawbough called police on his cell phone and when they arrived they heard him screaming. She got peeved, apparently, and bit him. She's been charged with third degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and unlawful restraint. Somehow, I doubt they had much of a conversation.

And lastly, NASA has some egg on its face. They held a contest to name the newest module of the Space Station. Their mistake was allowing write ins. Stephen Colbert told his viewers to write in his name. He got 230,539 votes to win. 40,000 more than the runner-up, Serenity. Serenity, the name of the ship in the short-lived series Firefly, had strong support from fans of Joss Whedon. I even received an email from a fellow Firefly fan telling me about the contest. But I guess going on live TV and promoting yourself trumps word of mouth. Anyway, NASA says they reserve the right to name the module but will give the top vote getters the most consideration. So, I suspect that the module will be named "Serenity". So there, Colbert!

That's all for today, folks. Time to actually do some work at work. Later.


Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You find the best stuff. I love your line "George W Bush for catholics."

Sprite's Keeper said...

I was just looking for a good "Pope" joke.. :-)

Aliceson said...

I too love your pope comment!

What a bummer for the pot farmers. I guess it's just another way neighbors can be annoying...