Wednesday Weirdness

It's Wednesday and time for another exciting installment of Wednesday Weirdness.

Remember a few weeks back when I wrote about the 14-year-old who impersonated a Chicago cop? Well, 7 officers are facing disciplinary charges in the incident. Apparently, he did drive the patrol car and helped in an arrest. Oops.

In New Zealand, an outdoor mall is trying something different to ward off bothersome teens. They're playing Barry Manilow. They seem to think that having to listen to Barry crooning "Mandy" will drive them away. The teens plan to counter with a boom box playing "their" music nice and loud. Dude, I went to a Manilow concert in college. (Sue me, okay? I'm 45. He was big in the 80s.) Since when did his music get deemed as so completely unworthy that it's considered punishment?

Here's a case of Dad gone wild. A man assaulted a Chuck E. Cheese mouse after his son told him "Chuck" picked him up and pinned him against a video game. The man ripped the head off the costume and stuck his finger in and started pointing and yelling. He was fined $500 for the assault after witnesses said the mouse only bumped into the boy while turning and attempting to flee a crowd. Now that will be a birthday that 11-year-old won't soon forget.

Speaking of overreacting, a woman called 911 not once, not twice, but three times after a McDonalds ran out of McNuggets and couldn't fill her order. She was refused a refund but offered a different meal in exchange. Not happy, Latreasa L. Goodman called 911 to complain. Just what did this woman think the police were going to be able to do is a mystery. And hopefully the idiot employee who refused to give the refund no longer works there.

File this one under, what the hell. A 20-year-old Omaha man has been charged with animal cruelty after putting his girlfriend's cat in a bong to calm it down. He says the cat acted like a stoned person after he smoked marijuana through the cat-filled bong. He also says that he's not the first one to do this, just the first one to get caught. Sure. Lots of people stuff their pets into makeshift bongs and share their high with them. Uh, hello? Just how much weed have you smoked?

A little closer to home, mine that is, we have a man jumping out of a taxiing airplane in Dallas. He opened a door, activiated the escape slide and slid down to the tarmac. He's being held for psychological evaluation. American Airlines reports that the flight ended on time. This is the part that gets me. American thinks that's the important part. The flight was on time! Hokay.

I've saved the best for last. There is someone out there in Medford, Oregon that has a hate on for green Ford Escorts. Police report that three of the vehicles has been torched recently. Now I have to admit that shade of green used by Ford in the 90s was pretty damned unfortunate.

But hardly worth incurring the wrath of this arsonist. Still, when all the cops can say is that "this person really doesn't like Ford Escorts", you have to laugh. Having driven an Escort from the aforementioned time period, I can tell you they are a typical piece of Ford shit. Great for the first 2 or so years and then rapidly downhill from there. We called ours the EBO aka the Easy Bake Oven. It was black and had a dead AC. Though I must admit I never thought of setting fire to every black Escort I saw as some sort of revenge.

That's all for this week. Now I have to get to work.