Today has been a good day for followers of the weird. We have poo flinging jail birds, a doctor making up a disgnosis, an intrepid thief imitating Goldilocks and more. Let's dive in.
Weusi McGowan didn't like his public defender or the jury. So he smuggled in a bag of feces and expressed his displeasure by rubbing sh*t in his lawyer's face and tossing the rest at the jury. The judge declared a mistrial.
While apparently there is such a thing as "guitar nipple" and may I just say ow, there is no such thing as "cello scrotum". Who'da thunk. In 1974, Elaine Murphy , now Dame Murphy, sent in an article to the British Medical Journal describing an ailment caused by the cello rubbing against the musician's parts much like the real ailment affects the nipples. Seems the BMJ was referencing the article recently and Dame Murphy decided it was time to fess up.
Alex Kupczynski got caught because he left his wallet in the pocket of one his victim's jumpsuits. Being confused and a bit concerned at this discovery, the homeowner called the police. They followed fresh tracks to another house and found Kupczynski hiding in a closet. He's been charged with four counts of burglary after breaking into vacation homes and living in them for an undisclosed period before moving on to the next. I think the best part is how he got caught. I mean really, how smart can he be to leave his wallet in someone's overalls?
Maybe you should be glad you don't live in Chicago. (And if you do, I'm sorry). A 14-year-old boy put on a "police uniform" , entered a local police station and was assigned patrol duty. He rode with a partner for 5 hours before someone realized that the "uniform" wasn't a real one. Chicago police say he never drove the car, carried a gun or issued any citations. And he looks older than 14. He's been charged with impersonating an officer while the police department tries to discover how he managed to pull it off.
Two weird ones concerning animals. A pet groomer in Allentown was charged with animal cruelty for giving kittens the Goth look by piercing their ears, tail and neck. And selling them on the Interwebs. Since her arrest her business has plummeted. Gee, I wonder why? Next, a couple in Florida spent $155,000 to have their dead Lab cloned. The North California firm BioArts International held an auction to clone a dog and Edgar and Nina Otto won. $155,000 to clone a dog. Now, I love my dog. He's smart, funny and affectionate. And slightly neurotic. Maybe more than slightly. But even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't clone him. There's more than genetics that makes an animal, whether human or canine. I wouldn't have my dog back. I'd just have a dog that looked like him.
Here's one for the...uh...history books. Seems like Jessica Alba is teaching Bill O'Reilly about the history of World War 2. She asserted that Sweden was neutral during World War 2. O'Reilly disagreed. She called him an asshole. He called her a pinhead. Thing is, she's correct. Score one for the Hollywood starlet. Not weird, technically, but good for giggle nonetheless. Anything that shows up Bill O'Reilly meets with my approval.
And last, lest you think I was unfairly picking on Chicago, let it be known that my hometown was in the news as well. Hackers in Austin changed the message on a digital road sign to read: Zombies Ahead! Run!!